Is it number one or number two? I just want to know how much time I have.

I have a growing concern that something awful has happened in stall number 2 of the 8th floor restroom at my work.

For the past several weeks, this door has been locked from the inside. It may seem strange that I even notice, but my stall of choice is one directly to the left, and considering my frequent urination due to extensive daily water drinkage, I'm in there enough to recognize the abnormality of this matter.
There have been several times that I have considered crawling under said stall and unlocking the door, to get this nonsense over with - I mean, there's NO one in there using the toilet, what are all these shenanigans about?

So each time I consider this, a different plausible outcome stops me. First of all, the idea of getting on hands and knees in that bathroom isn't exactly appealing, but lord knows I've done my share of unsanitary things in the past, and that wouldn't be the worst. But this isn't the one that stops me.

NO that's not me. But it wouldn't be that weird if it was.

The most common scenario that drifts into my head and halts my rescue plan, is that there is something so horrible and graphic on the other side of that door, that there's a reason the custodians keep it locked. Like, what if there's a floating head in the toilet? I mean, that could happen, right? Seems the perfect scene for gruesome murder - no one wants to knock on the door and bother someone on the other side while they're doing their business....why not leave the decapitated head there?

Now if this isn't the case, there's always the plausibility that someone committed a bodily function in there so vile and unconscionable that the stall is being laid to rest and quarantined for all eternity. Even attempting to imagine the type of disgusting activity that would have had to take place in there to shut it down for life makes me gag, so I usually move past that reason fairly swiftly.

Lastly I wonder if some asshole is playing us all, and this 'locked stall' trick is just an evil ploy for some b to get a stall to herself every goddamned day. For all we know, she could have a plush toilet seat and flat screen tv in there by now! What a whore.

And then I breathe a heavy unsatisfied sigh and I zip up. And I flush. And I move on.

All this while I pee. Damn I need a life.

BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA