Your pencils are creating a health hazard.

I've somehow crossed that barrier between having a "job" and having a "career" - so why do I want to go back? I think the thrill of the chase goes for boys AND futures, but it's pushing off the starting block that proves to be the most challenging part.

I miss jobs. I miss getting yelled at for not saying "hello" to a customer instead of getting yelled at for saying "hello" too casually to a client. When do I get to go back to the days of teaching swimming lessons and effing around all day? UH, NEVER. There comes that definitive moment that you leave your job and start your future, and it seems you can never go back. It's almost a sort of pergatory, an in-between part of life that leaves you constantly wondering if you've made the right decisions, and waiting to mess up badly enough to ruin the good ones you've managed to sustain.

But while I can long for sunscreen and sneakers there is still something so thrilling about tasting the first bit of career. Even though when I look at myself in the mirror before treading off to work in the morning, I hardly recognize the business-in-the-front, party-in-the-back-me - until now I've always been party all around. I still find it difficult to resist telepone sarcasm and swearing in the workplace, but I'm getting there.


I can "hold please" and "leave word" all day long, manage four script requests while juggling three phone lines and printing labels, type notes on a call with the speed of - something really fast, and make up reasons my boss is not available like it's my job. Oh wait - it is my job....Sad...But now I'm also in a place where I can listen to the magic happen every day, the magic I someday hope to be mine, and envision the moment that I get to call my agent and shoot the shit about effing around in the writers' room all day. Hey - I guess everything can come full circle afterall...Never say never.

As a last antecdote that may very well dictate the way my career will go thus far, someone ACTUALLY said the following on the phone today: "Her dress was so short she had an extra set of cheeks to powder and more hair to comb, if you know what I mean."

I DO know what he means. And when did he see me over the weekend?