In a blatant oversight on my part, I neglected to mention the benefits that come with having minorities as friends. Not only are a wealth of new quips and material available, there is also the innate protection entailed in joking with and in the presence of the butt of the joke.
Here's why I love me an Aussie. A fella from down under can get pretty much any American lassie he wants, no matter what he looks like or how weak his arms are. He can be smarmy as hell and as intelligent as Paris but as soon as that smooth-talking dingo opens his mouth, he can generally make a few girls swoon. Foreigners are the life-blood of the female American serial-dater, and kudos to them for pulling it off. There are a few Aussies that actually DO possess amazing qualities on top of the accent, and it's a wonder not all of them have been snatched up out of the single girls' lives already. And the taken girls, for that matter.
I love me an Indian for many a different reason. Firstly, Gandhi was Indian, and I've heard he was a pretty nice guy. Indians also, surprisingly enough, enjoy Taco Tuesday even more than an authentic Mexican, and I prefer anyone who can down margaritas to anyone who cannot. Descendants from this heavily populated and beautifully clothed country tend to have a certain good spirit born into them, and even if they weren't birthed in the motherland, an uncanny ability to imitate the classic Indian Quickie Mart accent. But my favorite Indian is the one that is that voice in the back of my mind constantly pushing me to achieve the unachievable, and that's why he's my favorite.
And BOY do I love me a GAY or two. Nothing says Sunday morning like a girly boy downing cocktails, and for this I salute my favorite gay of all. No one beats a homo when it comes to dancing like a whore or being Auntie to your children, at least I hope not, and he can always be counted on to cry at a movie when I'm the only other one that is. The gays in my life also have a special talent of being that effervescent lifeforce that keeps me going in the moments life feels dark and grey, and for that I'm forever grateful.
So raise your glass of beer wine or liquor to your favorite non-dominant racial and or social group - I know I have...one time too many.
**THIS HAS BEEN A TRIBUTE TO THE MINORITIES THAT LIGHT UP MY LIFE. YOU ASKED FOR IT BITCHES, HERE IT IS. :)
5 comments:
Yet another post that has made my day that much more enjoyable!
seriously...this was amazing. I LOVE each of them too. even thinking about it puts a smile on my face. :)
Thank god you mentioned sunday beverages...they make life worth living.
Also, you can totally tell I'm the kid in the middle doing the Glamour-Shots pose for no reason.
Love you Twat...thanks for the shout-out :)
I couldnt stop laughing. It is all so true. That could be why it is so funny.
I REALLY hope I don't look like that Indian kid in the photo...thanks for the tribute Kelly!
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